Tuesday, 23 June 2015

dao for Axel

The reality and absolute concrete basis of truth... And our ability to understand it through creating its opposite for the perfect viewing platform.

Everything u were taught in your life and came to believe, all the things that moulded your very idea you have come to believe as yourself. All the things u had drummed into u and the importance of these supposed facts that were consistently backed up to u and ultimately all fed directly to u by your peers, your family, also energetically imprinted and falsified by an overly affirmed fearful and thus palatable collective unconscious and also the collective, until they became the false idea that is the entity that is yourself. These ideas and beliefs are not new and not merely spawned by those around u. They are the product of interpretation based on generations of relative concepts created by each individual u are directly and indirectly  associated with throughout the existence of the human being. False truths handed down as dogmatic stories rehashed, rewritten, and handed down over Millenia.  thus forming evey perception and all your reactions of how u falsely perceive those around you, how u have falsely built a self.
These false concepts.. False truths....
Have become the most important thing in the existence of your human form allowing u to understand.. All be it false...how to manoeuvre through your outer life and exist in a ridiculously false human manner. You now have become merely a story generated by memories of your past, and possible predictions of a Non existent future based on your relative reactions and concepts of this past. What is forgotten and never taught to u, is the very fact that that past is gone. It is merely a story now. Your story... Based on somebody else's...And that future is actually an empty and an entirely blank page that will only have content added by your actions in the present. There is only the present that exists. The rest is just an idea that is 100% infinite possibility that only u limit by your constant reaction and thus attachment to the past.
Your truth is that if u be, right now, in the present, without jumping on a story or predicting a non existent future.... Then u are free. U are perfect. And u will act purely through feeling and react perfectly to the outcome of each pure action. If this is done.. Nothing can ever be wrong. Because the intent and the action will rise from a perfectly silent and undeniable consciousness. That is your true nature. The body, mind, etc is a puppet. An actor used by consciousness to give it the perfect untruth of human madness so that it can realise itself in and from the negative (not necessarily wrong) form.... From its opposite. Only once consciousness has created it's perfect opposite, can it have its opportunity to understand itself. Without dark, how can light exist. Without unconsciousness how can consciousness know itself? That, is the purpose of life.


In the beginning, there was an  feeling that the way things are... Isn't where we should be.. At least eventually. So the motivational question for a seeker is simply... Why?
Why should I look? What is in it for me?
Inherently we are the centre of our own universe... To begin with, a selfish ball of energies with a dharma, a purpose. Without this initial selfish nature, we wouldn't be compelled to fill its desire... The true desire of freedom.
The answer to why is not going to be handed to the seeker, this is the point.
To learn to trust that original stirring and follow it through the human maze, back and forth the metaphysical and physical... With unbending faith, that if these feelings are followed, utilised, learned from and owned.... Then the atman, the holy grail, will be instantly, undoubtably presented as a trophy and a token of gratitude for following the right path for your soul.. At this point before owning the true knowledge of life, the desire that also initially drove the being for freedom, must also be let go. The path least travelled by almost all beings here, but none the less... The right one.
As I have observed.. The structure is made up of leaders, followers, healers and teachers. The true teacher possesses all traits, none more important than the other, but all individually the most important when they are required.
Now u know why! The truth! That which every being u lay eyes on or not, is looking for. The answer is the same for all, yet the journey is different for all. The teacher will see and understand every individual souls particular journey although his may have involved none of the tests of the seeker. The answer is a knowing that ultimately we are one entity... A true teacher can see the path for all, because his individuality has been transcended despite appearance and often action. There is no longer an individual with a question. He will hold all. And with unbending faith in him at times of low clarity or fear clouding the  guru within, the guru without can see and guide the seeker back to himself at any point.

We all need a reason why before we will do anything
We want a story a concept and a concrete outcome
We forget to feel right now not get out of bed for a lesser valued human result
We all agree that humans in their awesomeness only use less than 10% of their brain to achieve this. And we just accept it and wonder and create a fantasy of just how amazingly unfashionable we and everything around us would be if we used the whole lot! Even 10% more! Then we let it go as a pipe dream and accept out loud our shortcoming without batting an eye.
Has anyone said how fucking ridiculous is that?! And began the path least traveled to find the keys and drop the heavily lodged belief that 10% is acceptable?! It is a miserable fail on any test u could score on. 10/100. Fuck!
and if you have been told that this idea has been disproven, and u believe that...well then u have been fooled very easily into never expanding. and will remain controlled and incomplete.

notes from the dao of me

The teacher and the answers are always right under our noses. The lessons are constantly missed because people have a preconceived idea of what or who a guru, a teacher of life's truths should look like. Or who they will be. Or when they will be.. Why can't the person next to u that is showing u blatantly what u seek, be a being who is absolutely whole, complete embodiment of the truth? Also we have some vague belief in a story of roughly how the truth is supposed to go. We need to Feel. Don't think and create ridiculous stories and believe in them! They are definitely not going to all look like an Indian holy man. I know this as absolute.

Tuesday, 19 November 2013

the grand deception and the unobvious obvious solution

this is getting trickier and trickier to explain….the deeper you go, the more consciousness expands….how do you describe a home planet where it is so vastly different energetically, operating from an entirely different function, where the human language could not begin to describe it, words cannot and will never describe the feeling of knowing of the truth…
so once again is born the great contradiction! we say one thing in this realm to vaguely attempt to describe a feeling that is untouched and doesn't belong on this surface dwelling scrambled egg…and appear to perform a task or action completely contrary to the feeble, shallow mind driven attempt to explain the unknown with words that reflect only the known, thus inevitably missing the truth and being grossly out of context….
despite the fact that  just by beginning to scratch the surface and beginning to merge with that feeling of wholeness, of truth…..a new perspective and understanding of the phantom we misconceive for ourselves becomes stupendously and laughably clear...
the pathetically outdated, trial tested and consistently failed social and moral structure become obviously a trap to keep the "I" in control….or generate enough fear to make you not want to challenge its eons old dogmatic flailings which have consistently proven to hinder growth and transcendence time and time and time again,…..
yet here we are, following more or or less the same patterns laid before us…….pretty fuckin stupid is i guess and easy yet powerful way of describing our laziness and fear of the unknown,of the truth!
that old system has to die in order for truth and love to rise above the surface and show that even amongst all the man made emotional garbage, fear, greed, blame, hatred etc, it is unaffected… it is perfection….unjudging, simple yet deeper than a bottomless river….and it has always been here! unmoving, untouched, observing this entertaining play take its finite dance, on, within, and at the same time completely unseperate from the whole that we have now discovered! discovered to be the real us! the actors in the dance, the dust the smoke n mirrors….was all laid out divinely perfect!
the ego/ false "I" begins to fall away and we become that which we have craved unconsciously to fill that never satisfied void within…the void that always knew, but was unaffected either way,
for almost a lllll of us, this simple manoeuvre does not come easy! the phantom knows you've seen him!and because his legacy is built on centuries of mentally constructed guess work fumbling its way through life after life, missing its lessons…it is domed, possibly, to rapid exposure and ultimately an emotionally painful deconstruction….
the one thing  i find very important after this incredible burning of the false, is to be aware that now without a fixed identity to check off those comfortable boxes with their predictable yet acceptable belief system…..
we are now back to our original state, an empty cup waiting to be left as empty as possible…..belief system shattered, a mixture of blissful wholeness  and fear waiting in anticipation to return with "fresh eyes" so to speak .
The problem, or lack there of. is that one finds this soul, a perfect thumbprint within the  whole, needing and wanting for nothing from the old surface level chess game it had indulged and accepted as life…its lot…
so we are reborn! we are born a pure diamond! untouched, perfection! yet we have no idea of how immensely amazing, omnipresent, omnipotent and all pervading we are! hence the extreme importance of the surface dwellers life which we are slowly moulded into and inevitably all we feel left of our truth and purity of being, is a constant empty feeling, a void that nothing on the surface can fill….
and inevitabley,
 i believe it is every humans birthright and gift from something more powerful than we can imagine…which also has unfaulting faith in us, even at our times of complete resignation and hopelessness, it props us and maintains its faith that we can pull this off and become beacons for the masses…shining examples…that in order to appreciate the light! the divine!perfection!…one must first live on the surface engrossed in the untruth, the false desire that theres somewhere to go, someone to be, someone to please, and a set of pathetic rules to live by,,,,,
once this realisation has been made, the third eye opens and sees clearly, that regardless of karmic tie to the surface, one can now be aware of this karma and begin to face it and transcend it…..
aaaaalllll of this just to return to the original state from which we began, but, with the yin born of now transparent ignorance from our time on the surface………the difficult job of undoing yourself begins.
And as the old patterns are revealed and transcended, ones integrity, ones strong moral values, begin to fall away also….this particular period, can literally feel like death,,,,because the ego, the personality, the idea that  you actually existed individually and were free from others, the centre of the universe,,,…. IS dying! and with that comes the fear of…"well if all this goes, what next??" rational fears….ofcourse non-existent though as they cannot survive without false society and some kind of integrity we had laid down as their foundation…
Sooo now we have no choice,,,never did….
"i possibly" believe that fate is stored within the human system as karma from now and dating back for as many lives as one may have had…if there is rebirth also!?
with this new awareness that you are the purity! you are everything! everything lives within you and you within it…..all i believe is left to do is to pick one of two paths. although the fate is sealed within the system, the student is now equipped with enough strength  to be constantly watching, remaining constantly aware and silent, without ever completely leaving that vastness of peace and perfection just below…..
personally i have found that the entire human population with all its spinoffs, and power drunk desire, potentially acts at random for each individual in a controlled, possibly calculated  manner, at a time when the student needs something or someone placed in their path to act in a maker that triggers this fate within through reaction, or reflection.
At this stage…which often changes, the deeper darker aspects of being brainwashed into a human karma that was not yours to burden, begin to shift quickly as each aspect has its unique catalyst thrust in front of it….forcing the karma out in the for m of blocked emotions, suppression, missed lessons and so on.
I guess if the student is pin point focused, this process would be relatively brutal, yet fast….and the reward….the realisation and physical merging back into the source from which the soul thumb print was born…unity and total bliss and untouchable peace, but now with a lifetime of yin to completely appreciate and understand the yang.you cannot know light until you know darkness…..

now….we could do this…or instantly slip back into awareness and watch and see who is watching me, the actor, the surface dweller? once there has been understanding and peace in this exercise…..we must then ask again, if this being slides back even further into the ever-present void, the all-pervading peace….then who now is watching the other entity watching the "you", the actor, on the surface, now knowing he does not and has never belonged there?
the short cut….you will have reactions to every situation…we are human…..its our ability to maintain awareness and watch the reactions for what they are until they become just a silly game…and slowly fade away on their own, creating more silence, expanding the consciousness and projecting us to becoming whole once again.
the only point i can see to this existence, apart form the petty human indulgences, is that every man woman and child holds a karmic fate within their system which needs to be transcended in order for realisation of the truth to occur naturally.
now that fate maybe set in stone….but the catalyst to trigger each response and bring it to the surface to be indulged??…studied…or simply recognised for what it is or was…and just let it go,,,it is past…it does not belong here,,,it is a distraction from the only thing that is real…the fact that you are all of this…you are that….you are one without a second…you are god and god is you.
but depending on the amount of karma within and the ability to transcend without serious mental and physical harm, will depend on the quickening and the realisation of the person.many are strong enough to take a lot on at once and just face it and burn it quickly and move to the next, being conscious the whole time of the process and intuitive of what they hold next which must also come out….

ultimately, the techniques will work eventually and lead to realisation,,,,or one who's centres are open, willing, fearless and aware may transcend their karma instantly…there are no rules….if we take out emotion…we are already there…and emotion is the one thing we built over years ourselves , and were handed from generations of god fearing , weak minded, frightful people who created their values…their integrity based on these fears.

SSSSoooooo watch yourself…your feelings or anger or hatred or love toward another being…are still yours, no one else is to blame, it is merely the karma you still hold…realise this, let it go and reclaim your inherent nature…and be. fucking.free!!!

don't search too hard…if you chase something you really desire, let it know, then turn and walk away…if your feelings are legit,,,,,,,whatever it is you want and need will cone to you instinctively, use the mind as a tool….but only a tool..as it has taken over and fooled even itself into thinking it is in control…no one is, ever was , or ever will be.
if nothing else, maybe just take a look at some things a little closer….just observe them, let them be and don't project your thought into these objects or crate fantasies….

life is perfect !….right up to the point where we think about things….full stop

Thursday, 31 October 2013


I'm aware i have written not one thing in tis whole year….i had a lot of stuff i DID want to write…..but dramatic changes, lessons, and complete destruction of an imperfect integrity or flawed set of vague rules which i adhered to were completely shattered. Thus, i had all the mental knowledge someone could piss in your ear…but realised i owned very little of that i had to say.
once again, this is my rant…for me..my kids..and anyone who cares to hear…i so not reread them..yet…i do not correct spelling, dodge "foul" language or correct my punctuation…this is me as it flows when the time is right.
small history…I've worked my ass off since i was very young. feeling empty despite physical or mental stimulation…and this has only grown stronger…..i know that what has been missing…that emptiness that something is just not in place…has always been me…'it's all fun and games til someone loses an 'I'….then clarity and the horror of your lie you've been living kicks in…bad thing? fuck yeah its hard to look at yourself and not know who the fuck you are or where you belong.good thing? fuck yeah, time to rebuild.
my spiritual journey has been fuelled initially by mysticism and visions and anything outa this world…but all these things are merely another thought that must be observed, and let to rest.
space and silence are the only two things…for me…that are timeless, unknown, and their depths possibly unknowable.
with a game of piggy in the middle of two main spiritual structures or teachings, i have found my place, for now anyways.
between the solitude and meditation, the almost aesthetic lifestyle of the recluse and the other side of the shamanistic magic or full physical contact dealing with and observing energy in it's flux….i found a thread……
this thread is the following string in a twisted, dark, enchanted yet scary forrest.
this thread uses a combination of techniques designed to free ones self from the mind..NOT of it.
it is more of a psychological approach to an inevitable following,finding and transcending my patterns that have run their course. the layers which this thread take you through are so deep and boggling that i have become aware that we not only need to transcend what we have been fed by our peers etc in this life, but centuries of the same or similar patterns handed down to evoke an identical emotion or reaction within.
i realise all the work i put in to give me peace and detachment, had worked very well in a secluded environment, with no one to mirror back and evoke the emotions still held but lying dormant. this time transcended a lot…and i realise all it really did was set me a ruffled nest of awareness to sit back into once it came time to face everything else i still held.
upon reflection after some time of observation and thread following, i noticed a predictable yet varied human response that regardless of the catalyst, it was the same for most people, same, but translated differently by them depending on the level of awareness.
i was left with nothing! except a bunch of mind stuff i'd read and was no where near or desired to babble about for the sake of sounding like i knew what i was talking about.
so everything i knew, everything that dictated who i was, was just another story….
from this point…a brother now needs an anchor! and it was hard to find one that would hold, still is.
my point here, is that i found a thread, waving etherically in the consciousness, and i grabbed it.
the journey of true seeing and transcending begins! not that anything before was wasted or bullshit…it was just no longer all relevant.
following this thread to each reactive area within the body is what has shown me that it is all my shit. nothing you do or say is ever wrong or blameworthy. i watched actions, then felt the emotion rise from a particular area, and then followed thought or anger or…just reaction and unease.
the thread itself spits into what seems like infinite fibres that run deep thru this rabbit hole to each corresponding reaction zone.
So this now becomes a psycho/spiritual journey….. in short, in order for "spiritual" realisation, the psychology must be observed, undone and transcended. if the transcendence is fruitful, consciousness expands, and little by little one begins to feel more whole.
everyone who is put in front of you is merely a pawn in your game…no offence…this is my observation, so take it or leave it….
each and every person or situation stirs some kind of emotional response…everything becomes an attack on that brick wall we had built for us that we call 'me', and slowly the wall begins to crumble.
so in a large sense, that wall is who you believe you are…and now you are realising its bullshit and as it falls, so does the preconceived idea of me.
now this can feel no more or no less like death! because thats exactly what it is….as u undo yourself and realise these ideas, thoughts, stories, lies are not you. you are the shiny clean foundation for which they began to build, laying there watching as this monstrosity weighs you down and silently witnessing its rise and fall.
once again, back to the point……each time i have a reaction… i feel it at its roots, and i follow the thread to its foundation and stare at it like a 3 year old child throwing a tantrum…and i decide this is not fuckin cool! so begins the work on undoing the knots of belief that these reactions are tied so tightly to…always in the energetic system, one energy wheel/chakra or another. with each unraveling comes the conscious expansion and energetic rise within…we just claimed a piece of peace back again. not saying this shit wing happen time and time again!, but it lessons until it becomes background noise or a muffled picture behind the shiny, peaceful truth….there was never a problem, it was man made and we bought it…
this too, not a bad thing! for how would we know to look for the light if there was no darkness to compare it to?
this has been, and will be a long road…i'm impatient and a control freak….. obviously something I'm learning to transcend…for after all, who is it that is impatient and controlling? once that wall is completely gone, so are you. the idea of you. the story with all its emotions and petty reactions. and as a believer in fate….and i use the word belief warily here, what is or was there ever to control??? and who? and why???
watching every interaction thru the awareness, not the mind alone, for the awareness will feel the truth and the path for you, and then follows the thought to put it into action.
this has been my work! even on the most petty shit, jealousy, desire etc….shit i admittedly didn't think i held..but being back in society for the last few years has shown me that I've needed these mirrors/people to piss me off! make me jealous etc…so i could then see that this is all trapped within me and i need to follow that thread to its source and undo it.
i feel now after the most brutal year ever!!! that thru the chaos, the divine has its plan and the best thing to do is watch it play out, react from a place of truth and peace…not from a made up set of living codes…but those codes must be undone so the truth can play its roll and expand and heal.
i guess the goal is to unravel it all! but in order to do that, you need to face it all! and that suuuucks!! but the light at the end is this… none of it was ever real to begin with! and once it is all seen through and we are able to act from a position that has pure motive, a position of wholeness and peace….everything will be perfect….even in its current, apparent imperfection…
this is my journey at present….and its tough…and its tough trying to find someone, anyone to play along and bounce off, to quicken the evolution so that we may actually be able to help people from truth,,,give them what they need…which is rarely what you think you want when you come to this.
i am so far from done…but i have no choice but to follow this at all cost…and sometimes the costs are so heavy that in dark times when the fruit of understanding hasn't fully ripened, the pain is unbearable! but a definite shove to speed this shit up.
i will be back to tell how this goes for me…..then again, i may be back and say something different yet relevant to the energy at the time…after all, we are all made of energy, and its nature is to change, then comes the contradictions for the human…but it is what it is, and it reveals what it needs to, however it needs to, and we need to be constantly watching and diligently tending to that internal and eternal garden.

Monday, 31 December 2012


There is something calm sitting below the surface... Maybe it's what u would call "the witness"... Untouched by emotion.. Untouched by everything that appears right or wrong... Just sees life in its simplicity and perfection. It's always there. The emotional body rears and bucks alot... But if we empower that witness, slowly the emotions will be controlled or transcended. They are the product of our false self... The possessive child like ego. It hurts like hell to destroy it... We have to be gentle and explain to it and show it the actions it allows. The trick is not to mind that it hurts emotionally as we transcend. The pain means we are working through the stupidity to a freer, more accepting life.
Good luck for the new year to u all.
Love and peace.

Sunday, 28 October 2012


I feel that my conspiracy rant only captured briefly the essence of my potential understanding.....Something comes in and I just gotta get it out and more often than not I rush through missing vital points of information that are necessary to those who need more of a step by step guideline. Unfortunately right now, I don't have the time to elaborate and explain in detail where you might find answers other than from within. On this subject, my point is to remember who or what you are. Your limitless potential. To open your system and focus on what really matters...... realisation! This is what will set you free.
Here I am going to leave a link....which is in my link sections anyways, to a man who although is the foremost conspiracy buff.....still makes it his point for you not to get caught up in the conspiracies themselves. It is consciousness that is my point, and also his, regardless of the mind boggling potential truths he speaks of. The aim is still the same. Realise and reclaim your consciousness at any cost.